The Secret Keeper
by chelseyb
Summary: Charlie Weasley knows all of Nymphadora Tonks's secrets, even the one she never told him. Oneshot. Mostly canon-compliant. Rating for a bit of language & sexual references.


**Disclaimer: **I do not claim ownership of either the world of Harry Potter, created by JK Rowling, or the song "Danny Boy" by Frederic Weatherly.

**Author's Note: **Starts in between the First & Second Wars, ends after the Second War. Mostly canon-compliant. Rating for a bit of language & sexual references.

* * *

><p><strong>The Secret-Keeper<strong>

If Nymphadora Tonks ever had to use the Fidelius Charm, Charlie Weasley would have been her Secret-Keeper.

Maybe it was because they grew up together, and they knew each other better than siblings. Maybe it was because they were thick as thieves at Hogwarts, and true friendships never die. Maybe it was because Charlie always held a piece of her heart, even though she wore another man's ring.

Or maybe it was because Charlie already knew so many of Tonks's secrets that it was natural to add one more.

**oOo**

They met when they were eight. After yet another run-in with the Accidental Magic Reversal Squad when Tonks inadvertently changed the color of her hair at the playground in front of a large group of Muggles, her mother decided the neighborhood children were no longer an option as playmates for her daughter.

"I don't know what to do, Ted," Andromeda said at dinner that night. "Nymphadora needs to spend time with children her own age, but we can't take any more risks until she can better control her morphs."

"I can, Mum!" Tonks cried desperately. She loved going to the playground; the swings went so high, she pretended she was on her father's broomstick. "Watch!" Tonks screwed up her face in concentration, and a moment later her hair flowed down her back in a bright pink waterfall. She beamed. "See, Mum? See, Dad? I can keep it like this!"

"Of course you can, darling," her mother said absently.

Her father looked thoughtful. "You know, Dromeda, I saw Arthur Weasley at the Ministry when I went to take care of Dora's little incident. He had a boy with him, looked a few years younger than Dora. You remember he married Molly Prewett. Don't they have a whole mess of kids? Owl Molly and set up a playdate."

"Yes, I recall those two were inseparable at Hogwarts. I might do that." Andromeda returned her attention to Tonks, who hurriedly stopped blowing bubbles in her milk. "Would you like to have new friends, Nymphadora? Friends that don't care if your hair changes color?"

"Yes! Please, Mum, can we?" Tonks hated having to use all her concentration to keep her hair brown. Brown was boring, and sometimes she forgot to keep it the same. It was all that dumb Sally Watson's fault, anyway. She cut in front of her in the line for the slide, and it made Tonks so mad her hair turned red all on its own.

"And Nymphadora?"

"Yeah, Mum?"

"Don't blow bubbles in your milk."

"Yes, Mum."

Accordingly, the owls were swapped, and Tonks stood in front of their fireplace a week later while her mother fussed over her clothes. "Darling, how do you manage to tear every single bit of clothing you own? And right before we have to leave, too!"

"I didn't mean to, Mum!" Tonks protested. "My broom didn't land right, so I fell, and a rock tore a hole in my jeans. It wasn't my fault."

Andromeda sighed with the exasperation of one who had heard that tale many times, and with a wave of her wand and a murmured word, the hole over the knee was repaired. And then it was off to the Burrow.

Tonks stood next to her mother, clenching her hand. It wasn't like her to be shy, but no one told her there would be so many of them. And they were all _boys_. Ick.

"It's such a lovely day. Why don't you lot go outside and play while Mrs. Tonks and I catch up?" an obviously pregnant Molly Weasley told them, ushering them out the door while holding the smallest redhead on her hip. The two that matched immediately tore off together, yelling at the top of their lungs for no apparent reason. The one with glasses slipped back inside quietly. The others stared at each other.

"Bill," the shorter one began, turning to his oldest brother. "Let's nick Dad's broom from the shed. You can toss crabapples for me to catch. She – " He threw a thumb over his shoulder at Tonks. "– can keep an eye out for Mum."

"Oi! I want to play, too," Tonks protested, indignant, but they ignored her.

"Dad locked the shed after the last time you did that," Bill said. He rolled his eyes. "Can't you ever think of something that won't get you in trouble? I'm going to make sure the twins haven't set the house on fire."

"He's going to Hogwarts next year, and he thinks he's so cool," the remaining boy muttered, watching his brother walk away. He turned to Tonks. "What's your name again?"

She was _not_ going to repeat the awful name her mother introduced her as. "My dad calls me Dora."

"Dorie?" he questioned.

"No- sure, why not?" Tonks shrugged. Anything was better than Nymphadora. "What's yours?"

"Charlie. Hey, can you climb trees?"

"I'm the best in my neighborhood," she boasted.

"No one is better than me. Bet I could beat you to the top of that tree over there." He pointed.

She scoffed. "No way."

"Yes, I can!" Charlie took off, and she followed a second later.

"Can not!"

A few hours later, the two sat on a branch together, letting their feet dangle, fast friends already. "That is so cool!" Charlie said in awe. "Can you do my hair?"

"Sure." Tonks concentrated, and her hair turned a bright red, shooting back into her skull. "I can do any color."

"I wish I could do that," Charlie said enviously. "Then I would be different. I hate having so many brothers. I'm just another Weasley kid. And Mum's having another!"

"But you have someone to play with," Tonks replied, trying to conceal her own jealousy. Even with an imagination as vivid as her hair choices, she was often lonely. "I just –"

"Nymphadora!"

"Charlie!"

"Where are you? It's time to go home!" The voices were moving nearer.

"Oh no!" Tonks gulped and turned to Charlie with a panicked look. "I'm not s'posed to climb trees anymore. Last time I fell and broke my arm, and Mum said I wouldn't be allowed to watch the telly for a week if I did it again."

Charlie started to climb down hastily. "Come on, then!"

They scrambled to the ground as quickly as they could, ignoring the leaves and bits of bark that clung to their shirts.

"You won't tell, will you, Charlie?" she begged.

He shook his head seriously. "Nope."

And when they were questioned on exactly what activities led to such disarray, they simply looked at each other and shrugged.

**oOo**

Their friendship was steadfast, all the way up to their very first day at Hogwarts. Tonks felt rather superior on the train, for she had a friend already and most of the other firsties were alone. It wasn't until the Sorting that it all fell apart.

Bill said all the Weasleys were in Gryffindor, so Charlie was a shoo-in. That's where Tonks was unsure. Her dad was a Hufflepuff, which wouldn't have been bad, but her mum was a Slytherin, and that would have been just too awful.

She was Sorted first, and when the Hat shouted "Hufflepuff!" to the entire crowd, her heart jumped and sank in rapid succession, and she gave Charlie a glum look as she made her way to the badger table. He was last, and the decision was nearly instantaneous.

"Gryffindor!"

She saw the elation on his face, but the look he sent her way was regretful. They shared a quick smile as they were led in opposite directions to their dormitories, the dynamic duo separated for the first time, and Tonks spent her first night at Hogwarts curled up in her four-poster wondering if she and Charlie would still be best friends. They'd stayed friends even when Bill told Charlie his best mate couldn't be a _girl_, so surely they could handle different Houses.

However, by the end of her first week, Tonks wasn't so sure. They shared a few classes, but that didn't offer much more than an opportunity for a quick hello. At mealtimes only some of the oldest students sat with Houses other than their own, and Tonks didn't want to alienate her new roommates.

On Saturday she wandered the grounds, curious about the Forbidden Forest and what made it so forbidden.

"Dorie, hey, Dorie!"

"Charlie!" she exclaimed, whirling around. "Wotcher!"

Charlie ran up to her, grinning and breathing hard at the same time. "I saw you from my dorm window. No one else has pink hair, so I ran all the way here. What are you doing?"

"Just exploring. I was tired of being inside all week," Tonks replied with a shrug. She looked around cautiously. "Do you think it's okay if we hang out?"

"I don't care if it's not," he proclaimed defiantly. "You're still my best mate."

Her face split into a wide grin, and she threw her arms around him. "Mine, too, Charlie!" Then she released him quickly, and both stared at their feet in awkward silence for a few seconds. They'd never hugged before. Best mates didn't hug, especially when one was a boy. "Hey, Charlie?" she finally said hesitantly.

"Yeah?"

"Race you up that tree over there." Tonks broke into a sprint, Charlie on her heels. She reached it first and immediately began to climb before returning to the ground hastily. "Um, never mind, you can go first."

He stared at her, dumbfounded. "You never let me win before." He regarded the tree with suspicion. "Is there a spider web or something?"

"No, it's just ... I'm wearing my uniform."

"So am I. Your mum's not here, she won't know if you put a hole in it."

"I'm wearing a skirt, Charlie!" Tonks burst out, embarrassed. "If you, y'know, looked up, you could see –"

"Gross! Why would I want to do that?" Charlie demanded, now staring at her like she'd sprouted horns. Which she could probably do if she tried, but that was beside the point. Shaking his head, he began to climb, occasionally looking back at her with a confounded expression.

"Think anyone can see us up here?" Tonks asked some time later, their uncomfortable moment happily forgotten.

"Only if they know where to look," Charlie replied. They were well hidden in the middle of the huge tree.

"Cool. It's our own secret place, like those passageways they say are in the castle."

"Yeah. Cool."

"Are you going to tell any of those Gryffindors?"

"Not so long as you don't tell any Hufflepuffs."

They swore each other to secrecy with the most solemn of vows two eleven-and-a-half-year-olds could make: they spit in their hands and shook on it.

**oOo**

"Charlie, I have news. Like, spit out your pumpkin juice, jump in the Black Lake, sneak food from the kitchens, _news_."

Charlie lowered his copy of _The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 5_, and grinned up at her from where he was stretched out on the ground. "You look like you just won the new Nimbus. What's up, Dorie?"

"Not here. C'mon." Tonks yanked on his arm until he rose, preparing to climb the tree. Though they joked about being too old, their habit of climbing their tree when they wanted to spend time together was still alive and well. "What are you waiting for? Go on, you first."

He rolled his eyes. "Are you still on about that? I just looked up, and there it was. I'm fifteen! I couldn't help myself."

She glared at him. She'd gotten over her fear of Charlie accidentally looking up her skirt; that is, until a month earlier when he actually had and made a remark about her lime green knickers. "I'm fifteen, too, and I don't look at your arse! Mates don't do that, you perv!"

"Why not? I have a nice arse."

"You _are_ an arse," Tonks muttered, following the redhead up the trunk.

"So what was so important?" Charlie asked once they were situated.

She turned to him with an wide smile. "Danny Moynihan asked me to go to Hogsmeade with him next month." She swung her legs in excitement, making the branch shake.

"Danny Boy finally gave in, did he?" Tonks had nursed a hardcore crush on Danny, a Ravenclaw in their year, for the better part of a year.

"Don't call him that," she complained.

"Why not? You could serenade him and win his heart." Charlie cleared his throat and gestured grandly. "Oh, Danny Boy, oh, Danny Boy, I love you soooo!" he sang loudly.

"Shut up, Charlie!" Tonks protested, giving him a friendly shove.

Startled, Charlie's song broke off abruptly as Tonks's push disrupted his balance. She grabbed his flailing hands, trying to steady her friend before he tumbled to the ground, something each had done in the past (Tonks more than once) and didn't have a wish to repeat. Both teetered dangerously for a moment before the branch settled and they steadied. Still clenching each other, they started laughing before exchanging a glance and swiftly dropping their entwined hands, looking away.

"So, what are you and Danny going to do in Hogsmeade?" Charlie asked quickly.

"I don't know. Maybe go to Madam Puddifoot's?" Tonks offered. She'd never gone with a boy to Hogsmeade, but that's what all the couples did. "Er, Charlie, you're my best mate, right?"

"Course." He gave her a curious glance.

"So don't take the piss out of me for what I'm about to ask, okay?" He nodded. "Charlie, what if he tries to kiss me?"

He immediately looked uncomfortable, and Tonks swore under her breath. This wasn't something to ask a boy, but though she had plenty of friends, none were close as he was. "Well, if you want to, then kiss him, and if you don't, then I'll pound him."

She giggled. Typical Charlie. "Oh I – I do, but ... oh Merlin ... what if I'm a bad kisser?" she blurted out. "I've never kissed anyone before."

"I'm sure you're not." She could tell he was restraining laughter.

"Easy for you to say," she muttered. "You snogged Alice Lachlan last year, and she wrote all about it in the girls' loo on the fourth floor." She snuck a glance at Charlie, who was trying and failing not to puff up, then returned her gaze to her swinging legs.

"Dorie," he said softly, and he was very close. "I promise, you're not a bad kisser."

His hand gently lifted her chin up, and she nearly gasped; his face was centimeters from her own. Charlie bent his head forward, and suddenly his lips were on hers, softer than she ever could have imagined. Her eyelids fluttered in surprise, and then she closed her eyes, leaning into the kiss. Really, it was quite nice, and she completely forgot it was her best mate she was kissing. It was simply Charlie, who tasted like spearmint and was brushing his lips against hers and making her heart beat a thousand times faster.

"Not a bad kisser at all," he said hoarsely when he pulled back.

"Oh," she whispered in reply.

Tonks quickly became very intent on examining her fingernails, highly aware that her hair was the brightest bubblegum pink and even more aware that she couldn't change it even if she poured all her magic into it, while Charlie plucked a leaf and worried it into tiny pieces.

"That was my first kiss," she murmured, more to herself than Charlie, when the silence became too loud.

"Oh. Yeah. I guess," he said haltingly. "Um, now you won't be so nervous about Danny, will you?"

_Who? Oh, right._ "No, yeah, not at all. Er, thanks, Charlie." She gave him a sideways glance. "This stays here, right? Don't want the school to know I snogged someone else the day Danny asked me out."

"Absolutely. I've my own reputation to maintain, don't I? Too many of the girls think we're together as it is."

"You're such a whore, Charlie."

"You just want me all to yourself."

She nudged him affectionately. "Well, if I have you, who else do I need?"

Charlie extracted an arm, looping it loosely around her shoulders. "I reckon it's us against the world, Dorie."

"The world's screwed."

**oOo**

"Say something."

Tonks crossed her arms and glared at her boyfriend. "What do you want me to say, Charlie?"

"Tell me you still love me."

Her expression softened, and she allowed him to pull her back into his arms. After spending much of their sixth year confused about and horrified by the fact that she was developing feelings for her best mate, she and Charlie started going out over the summer. Their last year at Hogwarts had flown by in a rush of hidden kisses on a tree branch and, more recently, sneaking into the very place they now occupied: Charlie's bed in Gryffindor Tower. "Of course I still love you."

"It's not the end of the world, you know. It's only three years, and you'll be so busy with your Auror training you won't even have time to miss me."

"No, of course not, why would I miss my boyfriend when he's thousands of miles away?" Tonks retorted sarcastically. "And of all the times and places to drop that little bombshell on me, you had to do it now? You could have at least given me a chance to put my clothes back on."

"I'm sorry, Dorie. I couldn't keep it from you any longer."

"Why would you keep it from me at all?" Tonks muttered, rolling to face away from him. "All I've talked about this year is becoming an Auror. Think you would've found the time to mention that you wanted to go to Romania."

He rolled with her, pressed against her back. "I don't necessarily want to go to _Romania_, but there aren't any good dragon reserves in England. And I didn't tell you because I never believed I'd actually be accepted. Why worry you?"

"Congratulations, you've been accepted. Now what?"

Charlie was silent for a long moment, and when he spoke, she heard the uncertainty in his voice. "It's a three-year contract, same length as your training. We can make it work, Dorie, I know we can. We'll owl and visit. There's Christmas ..."

Tonks laughed harshly. "You just said I'd be so busy training I wouldn't even miss you. How am I supposed to find the time to go all the way to Romania? And what happens after three years? Are you simply going to be done with dragons?" His silence was all the answer she needed, and it angered her. "Oh, don't even try, Charlie. I am not going to bust my arse for three years just to move to a foreign country and pop out ginger babies for the rest of my life."

"If you don't have to give up your dreams, why should I?" he snapped, turning to sit on the side of the bed.

She moved to sit beside him. "Neither of us should give up our dreams. So it's our dreams – or us."

He rested his head on her shoulder, and she kissed the close-cropped curls. "I don't want to lose you."

She swallowed past the sudden lump in her throat, willing her voice to stay steady. "When did it become the world against us instead of Charlie and Dorie against the world?"

They knew each other well enough not to have to speak the words. They were headed in different directions, and it was over. When Charlie took her in his arms again, kissing her neck and laying her back down on the bed, she couldn't ignore the familiar warm tingle building in her belly despite the encroaching sense of loss.

"Just once more, for goodbye," he murmured against her lips, sliding on top of her, and Tonks let her own lips and hands give a thoroughly nonverbal response.

Afterward they curled together, so close they might as well have been one again, clinging to each other, desperate to avoid the end. Maybe they were wrong, Tonks thought, closing her eyes as Charlie idly played with her purple hair. Maybe there was a way to make it work.

"Charlie," she said in a low voice. "This isn't it, is it?"

"No," he replied. "I don't think it will ever be it for us. We'll find a way, somehow."

"Let's just keep this between us, okay?"

Charlie agreed, and Tonks kissed him long and hard before beginning to dress. Even if it was only once a year, Charlie was still hers. Charlie would always be hers.

**oOo**

Tonks stared at the door in front of her, willing herself to just knock already. Why couldn't she have been a Gryffindor, with bravery to spare? It was pouring rain, and she was both soaked and freezing, and she hadn't come all this way just to back down. _Damn it, Tonks, how are you going to face Dark wizards if you can't even face an ex-boyfriend?_ With a defiant toss of her bright blue head, she stepped forward and knocked.

The door swung open, and Charlie Weasley's cheery smile turned to a gape. "Dorie?"

"'Lo, Charlie."

"What – what are you doing here?" he stammered in astonishment.

"Shivering, at the moment."

"Oh! Damn, I'm sorry." He stepped aside. "Come in."

Tonks quickly made her way to the roaring fireplace, basking in its warmth as she waved her wand, casting a hot-air charm over herself. Charlie silently handed her a blanket, and she accepted it gratefully, along with a steaming mug of coffee.

"So," he began once her teeth stopped chattering. "Why are you here?"

"I wanted to see you."

He leaned his rough wooden chair back on two legs, snorting sardonically. "I haven't seen you in nearly two years, haven't gotten an owl in months, and you just decided to come see me?"

"You haven't sent me an owl either, you tosser, nor have you been to England, so don't put all the blame on me."

Despite their best intentions, their relationship had fizzled soon after Charlie's departure. Both were far too busy to contemplate even a quick visit, and Tonks's tentative plans for an overnight stay that first Christmas were dashed when his parents decided to visit him. The letters became few and far between, and Tonks had been forced to accept that not only was it over, but she might have lost her best friend as well.

He tilted his head in acceptance. "Right. So we don't see each other, we hardly talk, and yet here you are, dripping on my favorite rug in the middle of the night."

She looked around the small yet homey cabin. "Charlie, it's your only rug."

"Which is why it's my favorite. Don't get me wrong, Dorie, I'm dead chuffed you're here, but give us a clue. You don't take five Portkeys across a continent simply to pop in to say hello. What's going on?"

"I'm so wand-deep in training that I barely have time to breathe and I'm going to fail Stealth and Tracking, I know I am, and I don't have the money to buy the dragon-skin jacket they want us to have and Mad-Eye's being forced to retire so he's not even going to be there for my last year, and Charlie, it's just, it's so ..." Tonks took a deep breath after the flood of words, trying not to burst into tears. "It's just too much and I needed you."

His arms were around her then, and she buried her face in his neck, breathing in the slightly musky scent that was Charlie, the familiar sweat and aftershave and something new, something that screamed 'dragon' even though she had no idea what a dragon was supposed to smell like. As her own arms returned the embrace, she felt his muscles underneath her hands, a far cry from the stocky boy of Hogwarts, and they crept up into his now-shaggy hair. Despite the changes, it was all so Charlie that Tonks was transported back in time.

"Oh, sweetheart," he whispered into her hair. "You'll be fine. I promise."

"Sometimes I wonder if it's all worth it, you know? I'm just so damn tired. Sometimes, I –" She pulled back, looking into his eyes. "Sometimes I think I should have gone with you. I miss you, Charlie." Her voice came out plaintive, which she hated, but the words had slipped out before she could stop them.

Charlie gazed at her for a long time. "I miss you, too, Dorie. But you can't quit now. One more year, and it will all be worth it. You'll be Dorie Tonks, official arse-kicking Auror."

She grinned. "It does have a certain ring to it, doesn't it? But no one calls me Dorie but you." Her voice faded to a whisper. "And I still miss you."

His own smile slowly disappeared, and the multitude of emotions that crossed his face made her ache. "How long are you here?"

"A day. I left as soon as I was done with work, but I can only skive off tomorrow."

His eyes closed briefly as if in pain, and he brushed a stray piece of hair away from her face. Their lips found each other hesitantly, a peck here, a kiss there, but before long they were entwined together, naked, sinking down to the rug. They made love in front of the fire all night, collapsing into sleep only to wake up and explore each other again slowly while the flicker of flames danced on bare skin. As the first rays of dawn peeked over the horizon, they made breakfast together, feeding each other in front of the dying embers.

The day was spent hand in hand, touring the dragon reserve, shopping in unfamiliar Romanian marketplaces, and returning to the cabin to tumble into bed once again. But when darkness fell, it was over.

They had learned their lesson the hard way, so this time there weren't any naive promises of plans to make it work. Instead they simply held each other silently, and Tonks wondered how she was going to get over Charlie Weasley a second time, assuming, of course, that she had ever gotten over him in the first place.

"I have to tell you a secret," she said when their goodbyes were over, standing in front of the door. "I'm still in love with you."

"I never stopped," Charlie replied.

A week later, a large package that required three owls to carry it appeared on the windowsill of her flat. Inside was a beautiful purple dragon-skin coat with a note attached.

_Dragon-skin is cheaper on a dragon reserve. Think of me when you wear it._

**oOo**

"Race you to the top?"

Tonks turned around and grinned as Charlie walked up to her. "I'd still beat you."

"You're on."

Laughing like the eight-year-olds who had done the same thing so long ago, they scrambled up the tree, jostling each other to get in front.

"I can't believe this still holds us," she remarked as they settled on a branch.

"I can't believe we're twenty-four and we're climbing trees."

"I can't believe I'm getting married tomorrow."

"Neither can I," he replied quietly.

Tonks drew in her breath sharply. She was not going to go there. She was engaged, getting married on the morrow, and her heart had only skipped a beat when Charlie showed up that day because it was the first time she had seen him in over four years. She loved Remus. She had fought for Remus, and tomorrow he would be hers.

"It was nice of your mum to let me stay here," she said brightly, trying to erase the awkwardness. "Remus is at the flat, and if I spent one more night with my mother, we'd have to hold the wedding in Azkaban because I would commit matricide. Reckon I could get a dementor to be a ring bearer?"

He chuckled. "Maybe an usher."

"I'm so glad you were able to make it," she said. "I couldn't get married without you."

"Neither could I."

She knew exactly what his words meant, and she closed her eyes, willing away adolescent dreams of a redheaded man in dress robes next to a young woman with bright pink hair in a white gown. "Don't ruin this, Charlie," she said, more sharply than she intended.

"I'm simply agreeing with you. What's wrong with that?"

Damn him. Damn Charlie Weasley to hell. "That's dragon shite and you know it. I'm getting married tomorrow. To Remus. Isn't that what you came here for?"

"It is." He took her hand, and against her best judgment, she didn't pull away. "Last time we spoke, you told me a secret."

"That was a long time ago," she protested.

"Yeah, well, I have a secret of my own."

She did pull her hand away then, but he captured it again. "Please don't, Charlie," she begged. "We're not teenagers anymore. We're adults, and we have others to consider."

"Then consider me. I still love you, Dorie. We could still be Dorie and Charlie against the world, an unstoppable team."

Tonks swallowed. "You're a right bastard, Charlie. How dare you come back after four years, on the eve of my wedding, and say something like that? We had our chance, and we let it slip away. Move on. I did."

"Did you? Truly? Then why are we sitting on the tree branch where I told you I loved you for the first time, that Christmas our seventh year?" Charlie moved closer, and she felt the heat of his body radiating off his skin. She caught her breath, and she was grateful he was still talking so she didn't have to speak. "I don't reckon we really ever gave ourselves a chance. Tell me, Dorie, if I hadn't gone away, do you believe you would still be marrying Lupin?"

The words were there, sitting on her tongue. _Of course I would be._ But she couldn't force them out, and before she found a way to speak, his lips were on hers again, soft and tasting of spearmint.

"Answer that question honestly, and I'll smile at your wedding tomorrow." Then he was gone, slipping down the trunk with the ease of years of practice.

The rest of the evening was a blur. She tried to grin and joke and be the normal goofy Tonks, but her distraction was evident. The Weasleys teased her about being nervous, and she played along.

Nighttime found her tossing and turning in Percy's old bed, cursing Charlie a thousand ways from Sunday. She loved Remus. That much she knew with all her heart. They could talk for hours, and he sent her head reeling with a kiss and made her brain think of all sorts of naughty things she'd like to do with him. And when she was in his arms, there was nowhere else she'd rather be. But ... fuck it all, there wasn't room for a 'but' in this situation.

But she loved Charlie. She would deny it with her dying breath, but she still loved Charlie. And it wasn't simply because they shared a past. It was because deep inside she had never given up on their future, because on a bad day he was the one she wanted to run to for comfort, because that brief kiss in the tree made her heart leap out of her chest in triumph.

Was it possible to be in love with two people at the same time? Tonks didn't know, but she didn't have time to think it over. She was engaged. And when it was over, Charlie would return to Romania and she would go home with Remus and all would be well, or as well as it could be in the middle of a war. She decided to nip down to the kitchen for a quick whiskey. Molly wouldn't approve, but Tonks needed something to help her sleep.

On her way down, she missed the last step in the darkness and fell to the floor with an "Oof!"

"Dorie?"

She accepted the outstretched hand grudgingly. _Bloody hell._ "Why aren't you in bed?"

Charlie grimaced. "Bill is, ah, 'wedding planning' with Fleur, so I've been banished for the time being. But it's Bill, so I'm sure I'll be free to return in five minutes or so."

She sniggered, feeling like a kid again, when their only goal in life had been to annoy and tease Charlie's older brother.

"Why are you stumbling about at this time of night?" he continued.

"I needed a drink. Just on my way to the kitchen."

"Can't sleep?"

Tonks hung her head. He knew her too well. "Don't make me answer you, Charlie, please."

He stepped closer, taking both her hands in his. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I have to know."

"I can't answer. It's not that I won't, it's that I can't. I don't know. If you hadn't gone away, I don't know that I ever would have considered another man." There, it was out. Charlie knew all her secrets and Charlie knew her better than she knew herself, so why try to lie?

He lowered his head. "Tell me to stop," he whispered huskily before kissing her.

She was kissing back and his arms were around her and her hands wound in his hair. She was Dorie and he was Charlie and this was the future that was never given a chance. And then they were in her room, and Charlie remembered all the secret spots that made her toes curl, spots that no one else had ever discovered. It was beautiful, and it was heartbreaking.

"You're still marrying him," Charlie stated when it was over, no trace of a question in his tone.

"Yes," she replied, looking anywhere but at his face. "I gave my word, and I do love him."

"Then why did you ...?"

"Because I love you, too," she said honestly.

"And if I had asked you first?"

"You didn't."

"Okay," he said, rising. "One last question, and I'll go: Do you regret this?"

It took her a long time to answer. "I will regret hurting Remus if he ever finds out."

"Well, he won't hear it from me."

**oOo**

Nymphadora Lupin had a secret all her own, one she didn't even tell Charlie.

She knew from the moment the test came up positive. The baby was growing inside her; how could she not know? But she never, not even when Remus left, considered telling Charlie she was pregnant with his child. She was married to Remus, so Remus would be the father. When she saw Charlie at Bill's wedding, a time when she and Remus were the only ones who knew of her pregnancy, she had a moment of stricken guilt, but she forced it away and conversed with Charlie briefly but pleasantly.

It was confirmed when Teddy was born. The smattering of brown flecks in his blue eyes, the shade of ginger hair he adopted when he was being fed, the slight curl of his tuft of hair. He was perfect in every way, and Remus was so proud of his son. She adored the pretty picture it made when Remus held Teddy close. Remus was a good father, and Charlie was a good man, and she saw no reason to hurt either of them. Selfishly, in a way Tonks got what she wanted, a piece of both the men she loved, a child fathered by Charlie and raised by Remus.

Not once did she tell anyone the truth, and Tonks took her secret to her grave.

**oOo**

Charlie Weasley knew all of Tonks's secrets. He knew what caused the scar near her left elbow, he knew the spot behind her ear that made her squirm, and he knew why she didn't drink tequila.

It wasn't for five years after her death that he discovered her last secret.

He would be lying if he said he never suspected, though surely Tonks would never have kept that from him. It was his mum that told him of her pregnancy, all excitement and joy, never realizing how she crushed her son. He never figured out if it hurt more that Tonks was having another man's child or that she didn't tell him herself. Charlie considered sending an owl asking if it was his, but he had never told any of her secrets, and it was too great a risk that Remus would discover their secret tryst. So Charlie kept his mouth shut, assuming that one day he would have a chance to ask Tonks in private.

Except, of course, that he didn't. He was too late to save her, and he couldn't talk to the pink-haired, eternally sleeping body. Charlie, who had fallen out of trees, been hit by bludgers and burned by dragons, who had walked away from the love of his life and seen her walk away to marry another man, learned what true pain was that day in the Great Hall.

Though he glimpsed the baby at the funeral, he kept his distance, and so Charlie truly laid eyes on little Teddy Lupin for the first time at Christmas five years later. Teddy came with Harry, his godfather, and he kept the entire family entertained, obviously having inherited his mother's boundless energy along with her endearing clumsiness.

"Harry says you knew my mummy," Teddy declared, climbing onto Charlie's knee without invitation.

Charlie was startled. His forte was dragons, not children, and he barely even touched his own niece. "Yes, she was my ... friend."

Teddy grinned, and something was oddly familiar about the lopsided expression, a different sort of familiarity than when he saw Tonks's snub nose on the small face. "Did you know my daddy, too?" he asked, his eyes round with curiosity. Again, a stab of recognition.

"I, uh –" Charlie glanced at the mirror that hung across the room and smiled hesitantly at his own reflection, confusion evident despite the lopsided smile. He glanced at Teddy again, at the bright blue eyes with specks of brown.

A wave of lightheadedness washed over Charlie so powerful he would have fallen had he not been sitting. Yes, he did know Teddy's daddy, knew him very well in fact. And Tonks hadn't told him. His initial reaction was one of anger, but Tonks was gone, and how could he be angry at a dead person? Then he looked at Teddy again, and his heart nearly burst, for sitting on his lap was a living, breathing piece of Tonks herself, a beautiful child that she and Charlie had created together. Even if no one else ever knew, he did, and that was all he needed.

Charlie manfully blinked away the sudden tears. "Yes, I knew your daddy," he said, "but not nearly as well as your mummy. She was my very, very best friend."

Later, Charlie wrapped up Teddy snugly against the cold and took him outside, carrying him up a tree, where they sat on a branch while he told his son all about his mummy. As the years went on, Teddy and "Uncle Charlie" were closer than anyone save Teddy and Harry. Harry knew Lupin, and Charlie knew Tonks, and between the two of them Teddy learned everything there was to know about his parents.

Well, nearly everything.

Charlie Weasley knew all of Nymphadora Tonks's secrets, and he took them to his grave.


End file.
